An Open Letter to Justin Timberlake

Dear Justin,

When I heard the rumors of you possibly working on your third solo album, I felt a gleam of hope one usually feels when viewing a blooming flower in the icy snow, or a pool of fresh water in the dry desert. You returning to pop music will be like Aslan returning to Narnia. Even before these rumblings of a new album in the works came about, I’ve been lamenting your departure from the top of the charts.

Music needs you. We all need you. You brought sexy back only to take it away with a five year hiatus? Pop music is in a time of despair; things are so horrible that the only way for us to get through it all is to make parody after parody of songs on the radio.

Justin, I would date you and then cheat on you JUST so you could produce another song like “Cry Me a River.” Desperate times call for desperate measures. Please let these rumors be true, JT. We need more music from you. Just one more album. Anything to knock off that other Justin.


The rest of the oxygen breathing world.


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